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Dookie Dookie Everywhere

Last weekend, I had the privilege of hanging out at home with the boys while Stephanie and Jamiee went in to town for some scheduled Stephanie Time. I took care of the boys and wondered what it would be like to stay at home and take care of them all day every day. Stephanie and I have different ways of doing things, and we each have our strengths. We’ve talked about making the switch and having her work while I stayed home chillin’ with the chil’en. Perhaps it would work. Perhaps we’re both imagining the greenness on the other side of the fence.

Jacob has been peeing in the shower stall lately. Not sure why. Maybe it’s as close as he can get to the experience of peeing outside. Anyway, there have been a couple of times when he has stood in the shower to pee and suddenly felt the urge to poop. He hasn’t known how to deal with this, and so he has walked in urgent, mincing steps down the hall to look for Stephanie or me. Oh, and he has left a trail of two or three man sized turds on the floor or even one hanging from is bottom on a couple of occasions.

Last Saturday was one of those occasions: I was in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch when Jacob declared his need to go pee-pee. I pulled down his drawers for him and off he ran to the bathroom. It’s an unremarkable event anymore, and so I went back to cleaning the lunch dishes. A few minutes passed when I started to notice that Tobias was gone as well. I heard Jacob whining and immediately figured that Toby was in there harassing Jacob again. I walked down the hall to investigate and found Jacob standing near his potty chair in obvious distress, giving his high pitched whine something about poopoo.

Toby was sitting on the floor smearing poo all over the floor. I immediately snatched him up so to prevent him from furthering his poofest. Covered in dookie, I wasn’t sure what to do with him. I looked around: there was no place to set him and no one to call for help. And so I set him in the sink to isolate him. Of course he immediately reached out to grab everything: toothbrushes, hairbrushes, whatever. I quickly moved everything out of his reach.

I grabbed the boys’ bathtub and began to fill it full of water to bathe them both. I grabbed Jacob, peeled his clothes off, and put him into the tub. I then went back to Toby in the sink to begin to clean him. No sooner had I peeled Toby’s clothes off when Jacob was whimpering again about poo poo and beginning to cry. I look around the corner and realized that I didn’t clean Jacob up before putting him in the water, and the poo on his bum was now floating around him. And don’t we all hate sitting in water with poo floaties? Jacob didn’t like it either and was now full blown crying.

I picked Jacob up out of the water and stood him on the bath rug and told him to stand there. He was cold, and crying, but obediently standing in place. I dumped the water out of the tub and began to refill it again. Toby was still in the sink and rubbing the poo on his hands all over the sink and counter. He was the bigger mess, so I put him in the tub and washed him as quickly and thoroughly as I could. I got him out, dried and in a diaper and set him in his crib. He cried at being left, but I returned to the crying Jacob. I put him in the tub and washed him thoroughly as well. After pulling him out and drying him off, I had to go back and clean the bathroom. All surfaces were thoroughly disinfected, and by the time all was restored, forty five minutes was passed and I was in a sweat.

It seems pretty straightforward now, but at the time, with two crying kids and dookie everywhere, I was more than a little frantic. In the end, order was restored and everyone lived. Have I earned my Involved Dad patch yet?

Posted on Saturday, October 27, 2007 at 11:26PM by Registered CommenterBrian Rozell | Comments5 Comments

Reader Comments (5)

most of the time i like pictures to go with the stories, but thanks for sparing us this time.
October 28, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBrother Brian
Jan told me about this event, and even now reading how hilarious and frantic you must be, I have to smile inwardly....is the grass greener on the other side, now that you've sampled a couple of days by yourself?
October 28, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDad (JLR)
I can't help myself. I was laughing so hard when I read this. I can totally picture the whole thing...and wondering how many times during this did you think "screw this...I'm keeping my job!!!" lol.
October 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDayna
I love it!!!! so I guess you are keeping your day job?? how are things? would love to see yall when you come to texas.
November 1, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterreigan
I was in the library while reading this and I had to literally run to the bathroom to keep from laughing out loud :P
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterunknown

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