A good friend of ours who is also pregnant again wrote a recent post about the discussions she and her husband are having regarding whether or not to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. She wrote that they did not find out the gender of their first child until it was born, and they loved waiting. This time, however, I guess they are toying with the idea of finding out sooner.

Stephanie and I were talking about this last night. We never thought about not finding out the gender of the first two. We found out as soon as we could. I think this is best, because gender is such a fundamental part of a person’s identity. It makes up who they are. A person’s name, also a fundamental part of a person’s identity, is often a function of that person’s gender.

Any way that I can know more about my children – and the sooner I can know it – the better. Delaying the knowledge of whether it is a boy or a girl, just to savor the anticipation, seems like – on the day of the child’s birth – waiting until the next day to hold her just to think about how nice it will be. I want to know her now.

Stephanie mentioned last night that she has been thinking about waiting to find out the gender of this third one. I told her she could wait if she wanted. I’d support that. But as for me, at the first sonogram I’ll have the technician whisper it in my ear. And I can keep a secret. I told Stephanie that if she changes her mind and wants to know, she’ll have to wait until the next sonogram.

Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me if we have a boy or a girl. I’d be happy with either, but simply because we already have all of the clothes and other equipment for a boy, another boy might be cheaper right now.

Yesterday, we were at Sam’s Club in Fairbanks loading up on staples. Not actual staples of course, but paper towels, sugar, Cheerios, etc. In the middle of one isle was a pallet of pink boxed play sets obviously marketed toward girls. Each set consisted of a miniature sized stroller, portable crib, bouncy seat, baby carrier, and play tent/floor mat that are to be used for the care, comfort and entertainment of dolls. Stephanie stopped in front of this altar of consumerism and prayed. “See?” she asked. “This is why we need a girl. So I can buy things like this for her to play with!” There is probably not much she could have said or done to make me hope more for another boy. I mean, we already have all of the full sized versions of these things. The last thing we need is a bunch of pretend ones. I feel walls closing in.