Today was another gorgeous day. And as the evening developed, a bank of those big, low, billowy, summer clouds rolled across the sky, shaded with some gray portions that sent me into a rainy summer day reverie. We’re not there yet, but we’re close. Rain. It hasn’t rained for seven months now. I miss it.

Stephanie and I were walking around the playground with Jacob a little bit ago while Toby was sleeping. Such a nice evening. But somehow, sometime yesterday, the mosquitoes sprouted. I tried to ignore the first few I swatted away. Maybe if I didn’t acknowledge them, they’d stay away for another few weeks. But they demanded to be recognized. That’s fine. The first wave of mosquitoes are really big, slow ones that are easy enough to swat away. Subsequent waves get smaller, faster and more numerous. But then Jacob noticed the first couple of hummingbird sized mosquitoes hovering around his head. And he started to freak out. Stephanie read something about this recently in one of her parenting magazines. She said that toddlers can suddenly develop a pathological fear of insects. And Jacob has. With a hand waving, “no, no!, NO!” that swelled to panicked shrieking.

We tried to convince him that mosquitoes are harmless. “Look,” we said as we caught one in our hands for him to see, “they are nice!” He didn’t even want to be close to a dead one. “Hold, hold,” he begged with his arms desperately lifted in the air. And so we took another tack. “Look,” we said as we pointed out the mosquito that had landed on my shoulder, “he’s my friend. We like mosquitoes.” Hmm, the things we tell our children. He still wasn’t buying.

There isn’t anything more heartbreaking than the pain and suffering of your child. Even if it’s an irrational response to a mosquito. I want to sweep him up in my arms and protect him from everything. I want to keep him exactly 1 year and ten months of age. Forever. My God, I love that boy so much. If it were only in my power to annihilate every last mosquito, even if it meant upsetting the food chain and leading to the crash of the eco-system and the end of the world as we know it, I’d do it. A pleasant thought for Earth Day, I know, but as Toby Ziegler from the West Wing said, “...if somebody was hurting [my kids], I’d drop napalm on Yellowstone to get them to stop.” Indeed.

I don’t know if Stephanie also read in her parenting magazine how long this bugaphobic phase is supposed to last, but unless it passes quickly, this is gonna be a long summer.