Today I was sitting in the back of a classroom in Allakaket, observing what was happening there. The purpose of my visit was to be a part of that school’s accreditation process, so I was looking for specific things, not necessarily evaluating the teacher or the students, but the whole culture and climate of the school.

While sitting there at the back of the class, after getting a pretty good sense of what was going on in that particular room, I noticed a bookshelf at my elbow, and on that shelf was the immortalization of my first year teaching. There was the book, Eagle Blue, about the boys basketball team of Fort Yukon, Alaska, during the 2004-2005 school year. There is was. Chapter 5: The School.

I picked it up and read that chapter today for probably the third or fourth time, the first time in at least five years. I remember the day that Michael D’Orso, the author of Eagle Blue, came in and observed in my classroom and took copious notes. After it was over, I remember thinking that the class could have gone worse and was relieved.

Reliving it again today through D’Orso’s words, I cringed. That was not teaching at the highest level. That was not student engagement at its best. That was me, surviving from day to day. And that, dear universe, is what got recorded for all time. Thanks.

In my defense, I can say that I am a more effective educator today. Today, I would have done it differently and done it better. And that means that I am moving in the right direction. May I always say of yesterday that I am doing it better today. And as for the rest of the characters in Eagle Blue, I sincerely hope they can say they are happier with their lives now than they were when their lives appeared in the pages of that book.